KidPuppet News:
When was the last time you spotted a sinister puppet plotting to take over the world?
Yeah, I believe you. Just send it anyway.
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Puppet in The Atomic Age
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Julius Robert Oppenheimer [1947]: "In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin, and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose."
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[05.1945] KidPuppet spotted on Long Island, NY, urinating on a nondescript factory muttering to a man in a lab coat
[07.1945] "Manhattan Engineer District (MED)" AKA "Manhatten Project" established
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[04.1946] KidPuppet deported from the United States in a soggy cardboard box for nasty April Fool's prank at MED
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Tool of gargantuan exceedingly disproportionate distruction.
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[01.1947] "Atomic Energy Commission (AEC)" created by the US government to regulate the development of nuclear weapons
Awww, Fuchs!
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[09.1944] German Physicist and former contributor to the Manhatten Project, Klaus Fuchs, suspected by the FBI for surreptitious transmission of a Solviet consulate message
[08.1949] First successful atomic bomb explosion experiment in the Solviet Union, code-named "Damn That Puppet F*cker No. 1" in the United States
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[01.1950] Fuchs confesses to MI5 for his dastardly scheme, blames small felt-faced demon, beaten over head with a sack of nickels by Harry S. Truman
[10.1950] KidPuppet spotted combing his stringy blond hair in Los Alamos, New Mexico
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Yipee-Kah-Yay! Ridem Puppet!
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Oh. Hello there, Mr. Puppet... Ahh-Haa...
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[06.1955] Szilard and Einstein use their supernatural brain powers to study the inner workings of mankind's most evil creation (creation, eh?)
[08.1955] KidPuppet allegedly infused with a plutonium core in a covert plan concocted by Einstein
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[1957-1968] Bunch of Cold War race to space stuff occurs
[11.1968] Top secret photo (pictured right) sent to the White House, Lynden B. Johnson shrugs shoulders and whipes *ss with photo
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Awww! Spaaace Puuupppet!
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One small step for puppet, now leave me alone!
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[1969-present] People live under constant denial of the truth and fail to see what's right before their eyes; unknowing servants to a puppet, they prefer to figuratively swim in their own pools of vomit while literally squashing a big bag of monkey innards over their faces
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THE COMMUNIST ©.
This page is to be used for entertainment purposes only.
The Communist is not responsible for any sudden acts of communism.
The Communist and all its contents are property of BobCo Solutions, Inc.
Illegal distribution or copying of this page or contents will result in 'Puppet Repression'.
BobCo Solutions, Inc. © 2000
Contact:
Webmaster
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KidPuppet:
-Sex: Male
-Height:
approx 2'10"
-Weight: 2 lbs.
-Origin: Unknown
Might is right. Power to the puppet.
Go get some Awww!
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Call:
(800) WHO-CARES
The source for the lastest news on bitter puppets, hooligans, and post-Cold War hijinx.
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