From: BitrNBored@aol.com
To: webmaster@kidpuppet.com
Subject: KidPuppet Story
Date: Sat, 29 Dec 2001 18:37:48 EST

What exactly is donkey punching? Thank you for your help.


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Yes, my son, what "exactly" is "donkey punching?"
Secret to the meaning to life? Extreme sports gone wrong?
Heinous act committed by football (aka soccer/d*ckball) hooligans?
What exactly, indeed. Maybe the dementedly helpful denizens of ILoveBacon.com can provide some insite.


(btw, if the link is broken, don't come crying to me. The Internet ain't the rosy rose-like bed of roses it used to be, so suck off! Or, try looking them up on FuckedCompany.com. The guy that runs the site is somehow related to porn, so I'm sure he has the answers to most of your Internet-related problems.

...and if you're still bored, try memepool, because I'm sick of it. Sick of it all, I tell you! Just because I have this smile eternally stitched on my face and I can fold myself neatly into tight closet space, I should be a fun-loving puppet writing for your amusement? Think again my friend. Why I oughta donkey punch you here and now!

With Hard Lovings,
KidPuppet

P.S. Answer me this... What exactly is a sexican? And, what's the deal with this Swedish guy on my site looking for music? Does he really believe a twisted puppet had a hand in molding communism into its current state of non-glory? "Comrades?" "Your country?" "Writhe" to me? Will you wiggle and squirm before me as you beg for your soul?! What is this world coming to?
Swedish-communist postmen writhing before a sinister puppet whilst working-class music plays in the background?... Excellent. All is going according to plan... Time to implement "phase II!"


From: "Christer Rydh" christer.rydh@xxx.com
To: webmaster@kidpuppet.com
Date: Fri, 25 May 2001 22:49:26 +0200

Hello comrades !
My name is Christer Rydh and I am from Sweden. I am working in my trade union for postmen.
I collect recordings with working-class songs from whole the world. Maybe have I writhe to you before and you have told me that you’re not able to help me I am sorry and ask you to excuse me then. But if not. Could you please help me to get a good recording from your country.( I am collecting LP:s, singles, CD:s cassettes)
If you are interested I can send You a Swedish recording in exchange. my address is

Christer Rydh
Snickarvägen 23
XXX XX BRO
Sweden

my greetings

Christer


(FYI: These emails are real. Scary isn't it?)